P. Sunshine

P. Sunshine
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Friday, April 08, 2005


I love my friends.
Whenever I start to get mopey and beyatchy, they always step in to set me straight, I'm like the toy robot wandering off, ready to spill down the steps, and my friends are the little 3 year-olds, running to pick me up and set me down on safe grounds.
My friend Jay emailed me a newsletter that his siter wrote to her clients, regarding her surprise, shock, and worry upon hearing the news that she and her husband were expecting another child. At this point in reading the article, I thought to myself, yeah, I'm totally there, sister! I read further on, as she wrote about learning that not only were they expecting another child, but they were going to have twins! I was thinking to myself, man, if it were me, I would want to crawl under a rock and die. But my friend's sister wrote nothing of the sort. She described how she and her husband laughed about the news, and called everyone they knew and then some, and received laughs from all who heard the news. She accepted her fate, moved on, and even lived to laugh about it. My emotions quickly turned to guilt, and I started to cry.

I feel horrible that I have been focusing on the negatives of our new baby. I've been concentrating on the fact that my husband lost his job, that I gained weight and have to get new clothes (with no extra $$), that I have to work full time instead of staying home, that our boys will need to get scholarships to pay for college, etc. etc. When I should be looking at this new challenge as an adventure. I should appreciate that my family is healthy, that I even have a job, that we have generous friends and family who hand down clothes to our sons, and contribute to the better of our sons' futures. I need to stop walking in the house and seeing the mess as a burden, and appreciate that I have a wonderful family here to accompany me. "Keep on the sunny side of the street", they say. I am Patti Sunshine, after all, and I should live up to my name, dagnabbit!

Perhaps the reason why we have friends is to keep us in line, prevent us from doing ourselves in with self-pity! We are our own worst critics, and the pals we collect through life are the Academy judges, awarding us for achievements that we may not have known we accomplished. My friends accept me for what I am, not what I "should have been". It's time for me to accept that too, and as Jay's sister says, "adjust" and move on.

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