P. Sunshine

P. Sunshine
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Monday, April 04, 2005

what's up with me?

*sigh* today I have an unexplained feeling of sadness. I don't know why, I should be doing a frenzied dance to celebrate the waking of the sun. Perhaps I am having a belated reflecting period, since I missed the annual rite on my birthday this year, I guess I've displaced it onto my son's birthday. He is FOUR today (zoinks!)
Usually, my day of birth is spent taking inventory of my accomplishments, setting new goals, pondering why I neglected to reach past goals.
Suddlenly, I've found that 15 years have flown by since I left high school, 10 since college graduation. How the crap did that happen? I keep thinking I need to get busy and start doing something meaningful.....oh, yeah, I had 2 kids! Why doesn't that count in my mind? It should, it's the hardest work on the planet!
Today's society is programmed to want more more more, so of course, I want to do more more more. Problem is, I haven't time, energy, money to do all that I want to at this time. I need a clone. A wealthy clone. A wealthy clone with a publishing agent. A wealthy clone with a publishing agent who can run the NY marathon for me. But then I still wouldn't be doing the actual tasks, the clone would. Grrrrr. Can't win. Perhaps I am simply suffering from sleep deprivation, and this mood will pass as soon as I steal a nap.


cari c said...

Don't worry Patti! You're just having a sentimental moment. You're allowed. I think you just miss winter. Ha ha ha. Maybe it is the Riley birthday thing... Happy Birthday to him and happier tomorrow to you!

Anonymous said...

Patti, you have great talent, the question is how to package it. You could write wonderful children's books. Keep dreaming and someday it will come true. Love from Oregon